I’m sure I’m not the only one to have heard those words from a loved one or close family member. In my case its my wife. She dispares at the way I look everytime I leave the house to go cycling. Cycling shorts or in fact any form of lycra is not over flattering when you weigh more than 14 stone and are 5′ 8″ tall. All my life I have looked like a man with a pillow or two shoved up his shirt. Its a family thing we all look like that. I’ve cycled most of my life, commuting every day for the last 28 years, and currently ride about 300 miles a month. I take care of what I eat, as I have diabetes. Do I loose weight ” do I bollocks”.
On the funny side I once rode with a group of friend to a local country park, where we met our families for a nice day out. The park had a swimming pool, which we planned to use. Unexpectedly my son who was a teenager at the time came along. He had no swimming shorts and wanted to go in as it was a very hot day. Jill my wife decided he could wear my shorts and I could go in in my cycling shorts. After a while in the pool I decided to get out. Unknown to me the chamois liner in my shorts had expanded in the water and now resembled a large barrage balloon around the crotch area. As I walked round the pool the water in my shorts leaked out like an incontinant horse. Jill heard a lady next to her say to her friend “look at this mans shorts, would you let your husband out like that” when she looked up and realised the lady was referring to me, she hoped with all her might that no one would realise I was with her. My kids still laugh about it to this day.